As I have mentioned already in my previous blog post (The world needs to know about Generalised Anxiety Disorder), I have been a victim of bullying. Bullied for being different, for having GAD, for being quiet and shy, for not being able to mix in as well as others and funnily enough, for being good at things others weren’t good at. It really does puzzle me, why do individuals get bullied for being different? I mean, we all know that no one is the same, we are all unique individuals who have our own way of living, our own personality. The way we look is different, the languages we speak, the colour of our skin. But we are all still humans.
When I got bullied, I lived my life in fear. I didn’t know who to tell, I didn’t know how to cope with the bullying; instead, I just let the tears flow. Each morning I’d wake up telling myself that I shall miss school, but at the end of each day, I’d be angry at myself for spending the day at school getting bullied and teased upon. Though the bullying never consisted of physical violence; mentally it was a lot to handle. And what did I do? Nothing. Zilch. I stood back and let the bullying happen.
I still remember the day my mum found out about it. It was when I was in secondary school; my form tutor was my older brother’s Religious Education teacher. She knew there was something wrong, so each day she’d ask me if I was okay, and me being the frightened little me always replied, “yes, I’m fine”. She kept a lookout for me during school and made sure I wasn’t getting in to any trouble, thankfully I was really well behaved, but she noticed that I was being bullied. One night it was my brother’s dreaded parents’ evening and that’s when my mum found out about it. She came home and asked me questions, and what did I do? I sat on the living room sofa crying! Yeah, that’s right, crying. To be honest I couldn’t help it, it was the only way I could release my frustration; tears. Soon enough, they managed to get the truth out of me; I got bullied for being me, and for being good at mathematics. Yes, I am a proud maths geek. A nerd. And proud. The bullying lasted a few years but thankfully it came to an end just in time.
Now that I think back to it, I’m not actually angry at those people who bullied me, I still see some of them around, but I treat them just the same as everyone else. Well I try to treat them the same as everyone else. I guess it was just meant to happen. I’m proud of who I am today, even if I say so myself, and I think getting bullied played a huge part in that. I don’t want to see someone else get bullied and teased upon, because trust me it is absolutely not a good experience. I guess it’s helped form the adult side of me. Bullying did do one thing for sure, it made me focus completely on my work. I felt that if I did my work, and if I just agreed to what everyone asked me, then everything will be just fine. Sometimes that worked and at other times it didn’t. I’m still a sucker when it comes to agreeing with people; if someone asks me to do something then I’ll do it for a different reason of course. In the past, I’d do things for others even though I didn’t want to; but now, I do things because I want to, and because I enjoy helping out those I call my friends. I don’t want to go back to my past, I’m a changed person and I feel like my life is going uphill. Alhamdulillah.
I am certainly not the only person to have ever got bullied. Each day thousands of children get bullied for just being who they want to be. And thousands of children go through a lot more than what I went through. Physical and mental abuse, big or small, is all types of bullying. It’s not fair on the victims and no one deserves to be put through something that could ruin their life. And it’s about time bullying is put away for good.